Be the Change

A couple of weeks ago my company's diversity and inclusion committee brought in guest speaker Gina Rudan to share her insights and experiences as entrepreneur, motivational speaker and personal branding expert. I never really cared for these sorts of events - they sounded too self-helpish, aimed at those who were lost and confused, desperate even. But I got a couple of coworkers to give it a try with me, so at about 6:00 p.m. on a lazy Thursday evening a room full of 50 expectant employees got their fixing of wine and cheese and sat down for what would be one hour of gear-shifting introspection and self empowerment. Gina was fantastic and the event really got me thinking -- about my goals and priorities; strengths and weaknesses; passions and frustrations. Pondering these elusive and fleeting thoughts that for way too long were buried under the surface was like a shock of adrenaline. And it felt completely liberating. She spoke of her experiences and related them to ours; engaged and interacted through humor and candidness; educated, consulted and inspired. It was a full package, a 360-degree evening full of surprises and revelations, and her delivery was ON. Two things she said I'll never forget:

- Surround yourself with people you admire and find inspiring

- Lose the "transactional" talk (the cold and apersonal networking script we use to introduce ourself time and time again)

Such simple concepts that I hadn't really thought about before but she was right -- we can be proactive about choosing our own social circle. Why not handpick those we want to be surrounded by; those that inspire and motivate? Why not create a top-10 list and make it a priority to meet them all? And as for the transactional talk, she's dead on. It's BS - lose it! Introduce yourself with a personal story, like that time you built your first fort and conquered the next door neighbor's dog with water balloons. It's these details that make you real and unique. While it won't win over a new business deal in and of itself, it may capture your client's attention and serve as a great metaphor for your product. And if you're lucky it will inspire a personal reminiscence on their part. That's when you make the sale.

It is fascinating to me that Gina was able to elicit such a profound and immediate response from her audience, especially when I look at how I myself received her advice. It takes true talent and performance skills. She had an aura that captured people's minds and imagination and that made them believe they have the power to create a better life for themselves. She made me believe that there's no more excuses so that's the message I share with you today. Be the change you want to see.

Feeling Inspired

I love feeling inspired. I'm not talking about a motivational whim or the impulse to try something new. I'm talking about the feeling that rocks your core and makes you feel completely alive. When you have no idea what's to come tomorrow but know for certain that this is just the beginning. For me, it hits at random and unpredictable moments. Sometimes it's because I speak to a stranger who moves me in some indefinable way; other times it's because I see a child so elated I start to see myself as a father (yes, I'd love to have kids down the road). Most of the time though it happens when my iPod is set to shuffle and that perfect song takes me by surprise, sending goosebumps up my neck and chills down my spine. A song that rings with possibility and opportunity. A song that beckons in a new era of passion and personal commitment to something bigger than me, better than the here-and-now. 

Too many people whittle away their precious time wondering "what if." If you're lucky enough to find the passion that makes you feel completely and utterly alive, run towards it and don't look back. Inspiration is a gift; if it comes your way take the bull by the horn and wrestle it to ground because this is your one life to live -- now.

Reinvent Yourself (And Your Career)

Whether you're an accomplished professional with a resume to show or a recent college grad new to the job market, it's never too late (or soon) to make that highly anticipated career change - and a life coach may be just the thing you need. We've heard about them before, but what exactly is role of this mentor-motivator and how can they help you?

First of all, a life coach is not a psychologist or a therapist, nor a spiritualist (depending on who you ask). These are some of the most common misconceptions that prevent many people from seeking help, as no one cares to acknowledge emotional weakness or existential crossroads. On the contrary, a life coach is a practical support figure that can help you establish goals - both personally and professionally - so that you can live a more satisfying and rewarding life. A life coach takes a holistic approach towards helping you realize self fulfillment, with particular emphasis on your job or career. So while some clients may learn to find a healthier work-life balance, others will improve on their interpersonal, communication or time management skills. It's all interrelated at the end of the day,and it comes down to how we wish to pursue that which is most important to us.

Achieving a new "self awareness" requires that we reevaluate and re-prioritize our goals and our calendars, and the process by which we do that is not prescriptive. There are no right or wrong answers, and they will vary drastically from person to person. The most successful life coach will not only inspire confidence in their clients, but they will also empower them to find their own answers to those difficult, looming questions. These are the answers that really matter, the ones that effectively shape how we lead our lives.

Jenny Fenig, certified life/career coach and president of Jenny Fenig Coaching, went through her own self discovery, deciding after a decade of the high pressure corporate world to open her own consultancy. She now has the ability to work when and where she wants, pursue her passion of helping others and fuel her entrepreneurial spirit. So if you're thinking about a career change, take advice from someone whose been around the block. Jenny recommends exploring 5 key areas during your transition:

* DEFINITION: What does work, success and a “good job” mean to you?

* MISSION & VALUES: Why do you work – to make a living or a life? What are your core values? How aligned would you like your values to be to your work?

* ENVIRONMENT: Where do you want to work – big vs. small office, city vs. suburb, liberal vs. conservative environment, structured vs. flexible, out-of-the-home vs. at home?

* PEOPLE: Who do you like to be around while working - hundreds, dozens, just yourself?

* AUTHENTICITY: How important do you feel it is to express yourself and your true passions in your work?

Regardless of where you are in your career, a life coach may be able to help you if you feel you've hit a bump in the road. Start by asking yourself the fundamentals, and listen to the voice in your head because it isn't going away.

The Road: A Review

The Road by Cormac McCarthy


"The Road" is an apocalyptic tale of hope and endurance. It tells the story of a boy and his father and their relentless will to survive in a disaster-stricken world. What were once familiar memories to the man are now faint glimmers of a past long gone, and to his son only an imaginable world never truly known. We follow their passage through the countryside and towards the shore in an attempt to escape the numbing cold, hunger and constant threat of death that characterizes their every day. We watch them struggle to hold on to their humanity, to keep believing that there's something better at the end of their odyssey.

With ash strewn about as our only clue, we never really know what caused this state of earthly disarray - a natural disaster perhaps, or maybe a global war? And while I wondered about this while reading the novel, I realize that its not of relevance to the text's core. What really matters is how the characters come to see themselves amidst such unthinkable circumstances, and how they muster the strength to keep going. The monotony of the dialogue and the simplicity of the plot serve well to convey the routine nature of survival and the characters' need to take one day at a time: to live now so they can keep living tomorrow.

View all my reviews.

Doubt: A Review

"You haven't the slightest proof of anything"...."But I have my certainty."

"Doubt," starring Philip Seymour Hoffman and Meryl Streep, was remarkable. Both actors brought stellar performances to the table in a highly charged drama about the search for truth, and standing up for that which you believe to be true. The story unfolds around the passing observation of a somewhat peculiar incident involving Father Flynn, fueling suspicion and rage within the headmistress Sister Beauvier, and ultimately doubt in his defense. Through volatile and impassioned dialogue, we come to understand how powerful a conviction can be, particularly in the absence of evidence. The beauty of this movie is that we never really know if Father Flynn committed a crime. This, in my view, is not the point of the movie, but rather, how we arrive at such an accusation. Is instinct enough, or is proof necessary? Does it matter if others believe you, or is your own personal persuasion enough?

The scenes develop amidst the backdrop of various issues that defined the 1960's Catholic church: gender inequality between the priesthood and sisterhood; the role of the church within the student's (and family's) life; and in general, conservative versus progressive values. Ideologically, Sister Beauvier and Father Flynn each want to lead the church in a different direction, and this is the foundation that allows a simple suspicion to quickly become a life-changing allegation. Ultimately we are forced to question whether Sister Beauvier is acting on her own behalf or on that of the church.

Both actors do a phenomenal job of delivering profound and convincing performances, with a tang of humor. Expect an Academy Award or two from this movie.

Magical Thinking: A Review

Magical Thinking: True Stories by Augusten Burroughs

Being that this is my fourth Augusten Burroughs book, there's never any doubt that I will be completely entertained, from start to end. And "Magical Thinking" is no exception. Through a series of short essays, Augusten portrays his typical witty self through his standoffish humor and matter-of-fact account of personal events. He writes for himself and cares not who he offends, telling his story the way he sees things, no matter how disturbing or perplexing. His style is crude, yet heartfelt, and the more I learn of him through his memoirs the more I want to meet him in real life; see if he's really the complex, yet lovable personality, I've come to know.

This book, more so than previous ones, actually propelled me to laugh out loud on multiple occasions, sometimes causing my eyes to well up. Not just a soft chuckle, but a hearty I-can't-believe-he-just-said-that type howl. The truth can be painfully funny and Augusten does a fantastic job of bringing light to the more awkward moments in his peculiar life.

The opening line does a fantastic job of setting up my expectations from the get-go: "When I was seven, I was plucked from my uneventful life deep in the darkest Massachusetts and dropped into a Tang Instant Breakfast commercial. It was exactly like being abducted by aliens except without the anal probe. I was a lonely kid with entirely imaginary friends. I played with trees." Captivating and hilarious: I will read on.

He has an acute skill for choosing and arranging words in such a precise way that an idea or feeling I once thought indescribable is now clear and exact. He elevates vague subtleties into meaningful and defining ideas, such that I ponder how one can so perfectly express, put to paper, how he feels. How I feel.

If you ever felt like you were a crazy person, "Magical Thinking" will reassure you that we're all truly screwed up, and if you can turn that into bestseller novel you've got a talent, a remarkable one yet.

View all my reviews.

Three Chairs

Why are there three chairs with their legs cut off? 

Are they nailed to the ground, or can I grab one and run?

It looks like a waiting room, but outside on a stoop?

So desolate and bare, who might actually sit there?

Young children in the summer licking cold italian ices? 

Or old women sharing gossip in the middle of the day?

I see three chairs and wonder why are they there?

Alone and unoccupied, the past faintly glimmers by.